btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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