Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
