i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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