In the future we'll all be gay
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
