She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize