they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't deserve a penis
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
