yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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