woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
