did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
