I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize