And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
