once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I woke up under a house in Key West
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