How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
