I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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