Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
