Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
