Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize