he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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