life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
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