LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
