And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize