Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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