Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
