I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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