She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
