Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(858): View more from California

just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.

Fav 17 1376 3570
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people

Fav 13 5219 1016
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(352): View more from Florida

Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.

Fav 10 1483 3949
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(513): View more from Ohio

Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.

Fav 8 3474 1415
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(615): View more from Tennessee

You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.

Fav 16 3701 1167
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(916): View more from California

Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?

Fav 4 3221 1263
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(612): View more from Minnesota

He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.

(1-651): View more from Minnesota

It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.

Fav 8 2702 722
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.

Fav 0 70 13
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(702): View more from Nevada

I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood

Fav 0 153 17
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