If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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