yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
