I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
