I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
