She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
