So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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