Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just found puke in my bra..
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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