The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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