just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
