The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
