DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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