Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
