also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The ass gains better be worth it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
