Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
