He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
