I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize