I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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