The maid of honor just puked.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
