at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How external is "for external use only"?
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
