do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
