I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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