Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I AM VODKA MAN
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize