You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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