You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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