I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
