toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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