I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
