He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Hippo gnu deer
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
