adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
