My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
