is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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