Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
