I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize