Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
