Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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