Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
