So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
