escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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