Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Randomize
