How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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