I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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