I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
