Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
My dick has a subreddit
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
