garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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