The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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