I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
