I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
