First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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