He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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