Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
4 words: hood of his car
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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