So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
