everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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